Ok, if you want serious gardening commentary look away now. This is how I think the Garden Media Guild Awards would look if it were iterated as a musical or rock opera. All events and personalities depicted are almost entirely fictional* (apart from 3 Men Went to Mow, clearly). Here is the outline and draft soundtrack** - I am now going away to work on the choreography. 'The Pub', Act 4... Garden Media Guild Awards – The Musical Act One The good and the great of the gardening media world awake . They dress uncommonly carefully, remove stray mud and have a coffee. There is a sense of anticipation , excitement even as they leave the house. On arrival they are greeted by a bowler-hatted gentleman and attend to the first business of the day – the GMG AGM. Votes are cast, more coffee is drunk, opinions shared. Onwards and upwards, say all. Act Two In a swirl of glittering society, a glass of pink champagne is pressed into the hands of our heroes. A sl...